Cold and dark winter time

I live in a place which is renowned for its rain, grey clouds and unpredictable weather. I love this country. Don't get me wrong. It has made many things possible for me and I am very fond of its people, culture and what it stands for. One thing that bugs me a little is the fact that, for unknown reasons, this country has no public holidays starting from the end of August and all the way until Christmas in December. That's 114 days of continuous working with extra breaks in between, just to make the long dark nights a tad more painful to go through.

September is fine as most people would just finish their summer holidays. Still full of post-holiday glow and energy. It's not so bad.

In October, you start to feel a bit, how should I put it, unwell? You are not sure what is going wrong but you feel less energetic and motivated. You will still try to pull yourself up by forcing yourself to focus on the positives, the big picture. Occasional self helping sessions do get you through the darker and colder October days.

November is the hardest, at least for me. All your positive energy has been used up and still have one long month of bleak and chilly nights to go through. Your thoughts start to drift to the less sunny side, contemplating lots of what-ifs, should-haves and would-haves. You start to question things you normally don't think about and certainly have lots of conversation with yourself deep at nights demanding answers on why not everything turns out as planned and expected. You start to lose the big picture and are lost in details.

I didn't realize how much consolation music has brought me. I listen to music a lot more frequently in November nights. Annie Lennox and Natalie Merchant are two favorites at the moment. Like talking to old friends, their voices soothe me instantly. Life is not that bad, after all.

This year is rather eventful for me, career wise. Those events may not lead to something I had hoped but I did discover how dearly I am loved by people around me. "Friends" whom I may not have had contact for a long time all said yes immediately when I had to ask for help this year. Who am I to receive such a generosity from you all over the world? I am truly grateful and humble to know that I can call you my friends.

And not just friends I met from school/work, there are also people whom I met over the internet. Some of you  I have also met in real life. A lot of you continue to be a source of comfort and inspiration for me. My world has enriched to another dimension after knowing you. Some of you even showered me with your kindness when we met. I was truly touched by this warm gesture. I hope I could do something equal in return. Please do stop by this temperamental country.

Yes, the nights are still dark, long and cold, but I feel I am tightly covered by a blanket with patchworks generously offered by people I know.

I am so in debt, with love.