The first half of the year felt like a masterclass in how to do everything at once. Between hiring a new team, working with my first external mentor, running CV workshops, and organizing a brainstorm day, I felt like I was constantly switching my brain between different frequencies. But amidst that chaos, there were such beautiful pockets of humanity. Having an old friend visit was a true soul recharge. Reconnecting with a former colleague and learning the ropes of leadership kept me going, even when things felt heavy.
Can an empathic leader really work?
Lately I have been thinking a lot about my role as a manager. Sure, I am officially the Head of Group, but most days I honestly feel like the group secretary. I give the overall direction, but I also find myself anticipating everyone else's needs and acting as a human alarm clock for every single deadline. I find myself wondering if I am doing too much. Should grown adults not be responsible for their own schedules?
I try to be an empathetic leader, but I have started to feel like some people take that as a signal to just ride over me. I am still trying to find that right boundary. I know I shouldn't just be their buddy, but there is so much gray area in between. Finding that balance is my mission for 2026. While it is easy to focus on the few who take advantage of my kindness when I am exhausted at 6:00 PM, I am making a conscious effort to pivot my focus to those who genuinely appreciate the support.
There is also the situation with a new senior level colleague. I have been doing my best to help him get settled, but it is starting to feel like he is taking advantage of that. It feels like his goal is to use my help just to beat me. I don't really understand why some people cannot just help each other without making it a competition. I am not going to change who I am or stop being helpful, but I do feel a bit lost as to why it has to be this way.
What truly matters
This year brought health scares that we did not see coming. First it was me, and then it was my husband. I am mostly in the clear now, but he is still being followed by the doctors. Sitting in those waiting rooms really changes your perspective on what a busy schedule actually means.
The more the pressure built up this year, the more a familiar truth rose to the surface. It is a belief that has followed me for a long time, but the turbulence of 2025 turned it into an anchor. In those quiet, bewildering moments at the end of a day, I realized once again that life is just a biological fact until we give it a reason to be more, a purpose. My purpose is found in connection. It is about making sure that my presence in this world actually matters to the people I encounter.
I did not just give this year; I also received so much. I think of my external mentor who spent time talking to me about whatever topic I threw at her. I think of my former colleague who accepted my request for help without asking any questions. I think of my work colleagues who ploughed on with me under tight deadlines and senseless requests. I feel very fortunate because of them. They reminded me that even when people try to take advantage, there are others who show up with genuine hearts.
The ultimate confirmation came on December 30th. I got a card from S who told me I had made her life more significant and meaningful. She probably has no idea how much that meant to me. In a year where I often felt drained or used, that one card was a sign that I am on the right path. It reminded me why I keep trying to be the person I am. I am learning to focus my energy on the people who actually value the effort.
Looking Ahead: From Feasting to Fighting
Did I try my best in this year (2025)? Yes. I can say that without a shadow of a doubt.
I officially head back to work tomorrow after a solid two weeks of "The Great Hibernation." I joked with my husband that we essentially slave away for 11 months and two weeks just so we can earn fourteen glorious days of indulgence, feasting, and sleeping until noon. Honestly? It was worth it.
I am heading into 2026 with a better sense of my own value and a lot of gratitude for the people who actually show up for me. I hope you all had a good rest and feel ready for whatever comes next.
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