Adam Grant:
The purpose of negative emotions is not to cause misery. It's to prevent mistakes.
Outrage is a signal to speak up.Anxiety is a prompt to prepare.
Guilt is a reminder to repair.
Disappointment is a cue to persist.
Pain reveals principles. Where we hurt is a clue to what we value.
Jefferson Fisher:
Communicate to:
1) untie the knot of / unravel the argument, not to win the argument. This is how you can connect with the person.
2) have something to learn, not something to prove. Ask questions to see where you can fill in.
3) remember that the person you see is not the person you are talking to. You don't what this persons has gone through. Every person has a surface and a depth.
Philippa Perry:
So many wise advises from this piece on: how I matter in any area of my life
There are two levels of perceptions, based on facts and emotional reality.
Removing all external labels such as mother, daughter, wife, employee, we need to be seen as who we are as a whole person, I, not an it.
The deepest kind of mattering comes when we give and receive undivided presence, not from external validation.
Explore where you can invite more authentic connection into your life, through conversations with close friends, where you let them into this feeling instead of keeping it to yourself. It could mean making space for moments of being seen, for example, allowing yourself some vulnerability with others and engaging more openly with your children. The aim is not to add more responsibilities, but to notice where those deeper moments of presence can already exist.
You matter, not because of how many people you help, or what roles you play, but simply because you are you.
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